Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Tre: Hamburglar in Florence & 70 Cents to take a Whiz

We had been in Levico for four days and it was time to head back to Tuscany. Our departure though was sad and left all of us a bit tearful when saying good-bye to Letizia. Northern Italy is beautiful; it’s not the typical picture of Italy that most Americans imagine and this is refreshing to me. Going to Venice to see Alessandro graduate, visiting their uncle Marco in the nursing home, going to the cemetery and paying respects to family and visiting the families old neighborhood – these were all things that allowed me to really experience more of the real Italy. What I liked most about the trip was the unique opportunity to spend time with Julia and Nicole in this way and in this place. I loved living the Italian life with their family for a few short days; I could have sat at the dinner table all night just to observe and listen to everyone.

We are on the train back to Tuscany and in the past four days of our trip I can tell you that we laughed so much…and we would continue to do so for the duration of their trip. Just when we thought we were “home free” to Tuscany without any hitches, we stopped in Florence to switch from train to bus. First, we spent 70 cents again tinkle in the public restrooms (but not before we bitched about the fact that we had to pay to do this.) Let’s just say because of the change in our diets, all of us were having digestive problems, mainly Julia and Nicole as they were not acclimated to the Italian diet yet (food groups: pasta, gelato, wine). We had time to spare for a quick lunch before we caught the bus to Siena. The only place to eat at the train station was a McDonalds and although we all hesitated at the dreadful thought of eating McDonalds food while we were in Italy, we agreed it was okay and maybe even a good idea to get the “pipes” moving. Although, when I verbalized this possible constipation solution, Nicole replied, “I refuse to pay another 70 cents to go to the bathroom again.” I about died laughing.

And honestly, I had a hankering for anything besides Italian food and a burger and fries sounded like grease made in heaven. Julia and Nicole ordered chicken sandwiches with fries and I got a burger with fries and a Coke Light. The train station was crowded and we ended up sitting on the ground, just outside the doors into the main station. I guess subconsciously I thought our day had been too easy…not enough drama apparently, because as we sat there, just starting to eat our lunch a gypsy woman started walking toward us. She was carrying a baby in a wrap around her shoulders and she was also about 5 months pregnant. Not too concerned about the situation and perhaps a bit curious as to what she would do, I only clinched my purse and told Julia and Nicole to do the same. The gypsy woman scooted closer and closer (she’s standing and we are all sitting on the ground) and then she asked for food or money. I said no and shook my head…she continued to get closer and within milliseconds she snatched my hamburger…my greasy, American, pipe-moving, antipasta hamburger. Quite shocked, but amused we all just sat there – was this God telling me “That will teach you to order McDonalds in Florence Italy?” Then…instead of running away, the gypsy hamburglar ate MY lunch in front of me. Uh…excuse me? During this whole time I’m thinking “Should I get up and chase her for my hamburger?” I actually visualized myself doing this – chasing after a pregnant gypsy carrying a child in one hand and a hamburger in the other hand…well, I just didn’t think it was worth the few euros I paid. She was very, very proud of herself for such a quick snatch as she continued to stay and eat in front of me; I was pissed…then laughing…then in disbelief. Well … then me and the gypsy hamburglar decided to banter back and forth. Holding up the hamburger as though she were soluting Ronald McDonald himself, she said with a hiss, “Grazzzzzzie” (translation: thank you stupid American woman for the hamburger). I replied with a sarcastic “Prego…niente” (translation: you’re welcome, it was nothing, is there anything else I can get for you, would you like a pie with that?). Oh ya…somewhere in all of this Nicole called her a bitch (yes, Nicole Dubiel) and I think at this point Julia is still eating her fries and observing the Italian drama that is playing out before her very eyes. Finally, the gypsy leaves us in peace…probably going to tell her fellow hamburglars her side of the story. I took a bite of Julia’s sandwich and then a bite of Nicole’s and then we hopped on the bus to Siena. We laughed all the way to Siena about the Gypsy Hamburglar.