giovedì 17 maggio 2007

Thank you Friends & Family!

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who read my blog and sent a comment or email. Getting your notes of hello and support was heartwarming...and funny based on your thoughts regarding various stories! I hope you enjoyed my stories about my adventures in Italy. It goes without saying that this journey/trip/adventure has been an experience of a lifetime.

This morning at 5:27, I realize already so many things I learned about life, myself, others, language, communication, Italy... but I know that I will continue to learn and grow from my time in Italy. I hope, if you so desire, that each of you can take your own adventure somewhere to stretch your mind, step out of your comfort zone and enjoy life and the characters in it.

Ciao!
Meleeeeeeesa:)

The Stories I will tell when I am Old & Gray...

Well, it is 3:00 am on May 17th and I am wide awake typing what will probably be my last blog entry and thinking about Siena and thinking about all that I have to do now that I am back.

Siena to Rome (boo-hooed once), Rome to London (boo-hooed again)and London to LA (bawled)...well, I am back in the US! My travels were okay despite my puffy eyes and extremly puffy ankles (ugh!!!). It certainly was much more complicated coming back into the country than leaving; I was in lines for customs for about 2 hours (because of the chocolate I brought back). One of the customs officials jokingly said, "That's too many bags for chocolate; you have Italian shoes in there, I just know you do!" And I got a good laugh after he asked why I didn't get married while I was there. Then he raised one eye-brow and asked, "So do you like Italian men or American men better?" I just shook my head and laughed.

Ricky picked me up from the airport (Thank you!) And presented me with my favorite cinnamon bears and a HUGE hug... and a trip to In and Out!!! It was delicious and there were no gypsy hamburglars in sight, so I ate in peace.

So...I have about 65 pages of blog entries (all of which have cuss words, talk of God and biblical scripture... all in one blog!) and about 400 photos! I look forward to showing you my photos and sharing my stories with you if you want to hear them even after reading about them (I am told that I am a good story teller, so....:) I just know that I am going to be "one of those" moms and/or grandmas that will tell the same stories over and over for years to come. "Here she goes, telling the story about the gypsy who stold her hamburger in Florence again." Or, "Oh no, she's telling the embarassing story about Stefano, the massage therapist in Positano again." Funny...maybe by the time I am 70 years old, the story will be so exaggerated enough to the point that I actually chased the gypsy and beat her over the head only to get my hamburger back or that I had a wild love affair with Stefano the massage therapist.

Last Day in Tuscany

Tuesday: May 15th: After three months in Italy, it is my last day and trying to fit everything into my suitcases is just one of my challenges before I leave.

Of course I want to go home to Santa Barbara, one of my favorite places in the world and see my friends and enjoy many things that I have missed (food, movies, beach, my car, English...just to name a few), but...

I am very sad to leave Tuscany and Siena in particular. I truly felt settled in and really appreciate and got used to the lifestyle. I wouldn't refer to my time in Italy as a vacation either; I didn't want to be a tourist and didn't feel that way most of the time. Time away ("vacation") for me is about actually living an experience rather than just visiting if that makes any sense.

I had a daily routine and my favorite spots to eat, sit in the sun, grocery shop, go for coffee and I made great friends and contacts, people I saw everyday. I had activities and projects that made me feel like I was working and productive and not just touring the next museum.

Not to mention the countryside; it is beautiful right now and is getting more and more lush. The red poppies are popping up now in the green fields and it is so beautiful and vibrant.

For my last day in Siena I first indulged in a triple scoop (instead of my usual double) of gelato at my favorite place. I got crema, chocolate fondente (extra dark) and Fantanocciola (I honestly don't know what flavor this is, but it was delicious). I sat at a great spot which Julia showed me, a stone wall with a view of Siena, to eat my gelato quickly before it melted. Then I went to Piazza del Campo and people-watched for about an hour. Sitting in the Piazza, in the sun, and watching children chase pigeons, lovers make-out and Italians speak to one another with lots of animation and hand gestures is sooooo entertaining!

I said my good-byes at Saena Iulia, the school where I studied Italian and made many good friends with the other students and the teachers themselves. I seriously felt a bit like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, telling each person good-bye, before I left in my "hot air balloon" back to "Kansas." Besides just language, I definitely feel that Mauro, Sabrina and Giorgia taught me many things that they may not even realize now. So...is there no place like home? I am glad to go back to real life in wonderful SB, but I wouldn't hesitate to click my heels and return to Siena, a place that I also feel at home.

lunedì 14 maggio 2007

A Farm in Tuscany

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at Podere Spereta, a farm in Tuscany near Montalcino, which is about 30 minutes from Siena. The farm is not at all a tourist attraction and luckily I know someone who knows someone to allow me into this personal/family farm in the hills:) It was incredible it get such a true insight into Tuscan farming. The family raises pigs, sheep and goats. They also have wheat, olive trees and a vineyard. It is one of the few farms left that does not use machinery to make the cheese. I actually got to watch what seemed to be the "head woman of the farm", a plump woman with rosie round cheeks, make and shape the cheese. The pungent smell of the cheese in the small room where the magic happens, was so incredibly strong that I almost fainted (no, really.)

As I walked around the farm, I watched the pigs snort and roll around in the mud; the piglets were so tiny, about the size of a 10 pound baby. There was also a goat who had gotten it's head and horns stuck in a bale of hay; it was so hilarious (I kept my laughter to myself as I watched) watching two lovely, plump, women (head of the farm and her daughter) try to move the hay, speak hastily in Italian about the situation and then try to pull this goat out of the hay. There I stand, wanting so bad to laugh and take video, but I resisted and just watched. Finally the animal was set free. I walked/hiked around through the farm, noticing the vineyard, large round hay bails, tractors, about 5 dogs and watching where I walked only to avoid stepping in sheep poop.

My only challenge for the day was trying to figure out a word or words to describe the beauty and tranquility of the green Tuscan hills. Green Velvet? A blanket of Green? Oil Painting? ... cliche and already over-used....hmmm...photos in calendars don't do it justice and neither will my photos. My only suggestion is that you get on a plane and come to Italy and see it for yourself!:) I had to leave the farm, but what I really wanted to do was sit at the top of the hill, look out, and write down all of the words that came to mind to describe the hills.

venerdì 11 maggio 2007

Contiki Guided Tour through Italy

I am still catching up on my blog…where was I…oh, so…I had taken Julia and Nicole to Rome airport and said good-bye to them. Now, I had two more lovely days in my wonderful little country apartment in Tocchi and then I had to get back to Rome myself to start the 2 week guided tour with Contiki.

Let me explain a little something first…I booked my 2-week tour about one week after I arrived in Siena. At the time, 2 weeks in a bus, with other tourists seemed like a good idea. But, my thoughts on that changed in the past two months and I desperately tried to change the tour from 2 weeks to one week…and also to save the money that was quickly dwindling. Well, I couldn’t change or get a refund, so…

Overall, the Contiki tour was a good way to maximize traveling time and see a lot of places. In two weeks, I visited: Rome, Pompei (Naples), Sorrento, Capri, Florence, Chianti Region, Pisa, Verona, Milan, and Venice. Whew! Every morning a 7 am wake up call. And overall, the food and choice of restaurants (organized through Contiki) were not good. The hotels were okay and got better. Besides getting a glimpse of so many places and monuments, I would say the highlights of the trip were: having time to study my Italian on the bus (from Venice to Rome was 6 hours), the hilarious scenarios that played out that made me feel better about the terrible food and of course the people I met on the tour. Marco, the tour manager was awesome. So that’s a snapshot of my thoughts on Contiki. Read on for more details of funny stories…

Contiki: Roma: Advice from the Bartender

I arrived in Rome via bus from Siena. I was not a happy camper; I didn’t want to leave comfortable, quiet Siena and be stuck on a bus and various hotels for 2 weeks. I vented in choppy Italian to the bartender at the Rome hotel; he was a delight and had a few words of advice…basically, “make the most of it.”

There were 42 people on the tour; mostly Americans from: Florida, D.C., California, Arizona, Maryland, and Kansas. Also, many Canadians, Aussies, a new Zealander, a Japanese woman and a couple from Singapore. Contiki “specializes” in hosting tours from 20-35 year olds and most people assume this means the tour will be mainly singles. However, half of the group was married, newlyweds or just engaged. Occupations include: Travel Agent, milkman, chef, forensic biologist, accountant, doctor, acupuncturist, pilot, pharmaceutical sales, engineer, teacher, etc, etc

Cossette, my roommate…28 years old, Cuban from Florida…I like her and we had some good laughs and stories. The funniest thing that we realized after about 2 days into the trip was that every single person on the tour had some sort of “issue” they were working out and even more, many of us didn’t want to be on the tour but it was too late for us to cancel. This became funny to us and Cossette and I thought Contiki should use a new marketing slogan: Contiki – We’re here for you. Marco, our tour manager, also seemed to be a great therapist for many of us. So…anyway, Cossette…she was feeling a bit homesick because she was missing a new boyfriend…one that she met AFTER she booked the tour with contiki. This was the case with two other girls on the tour….okay, ya…this tour had gotten off to a “good” start.

So the first night of dinner in Rome…did I mention the food was not good?…anyway, after taking Italian for 5 weeks, I was delighted and tickled at dinner time with Contiki we learned how to say “Buon Appetito”… okay, everybody together now…B-U-O-N A-P-P-E-T-I-T-O. After that, I snuck to the bar and ordered a grappa.

Well, I thought this trip would be a great time to catch up on my blog, so I brought my laptop…but the hotel in Rome did not have internet access. Hmmm…well…talked to a nice, good looking fella at the front desk – Marcello – he let me use the computer at the front desk and he served me a little espresso “for such a beautiful woman.”…okay, well that makes me feel better about the no internet connection.

Contiki: Pompei, Sorrento, Capri: Chubby Speedos & Coke on the Beach

Moving on…Pompei…neat/cool to see the ruins of this place, but lots of tourists and crowds…bad food for lunch…we are there for 2 hours…moving on to Sorrento. The hotel was on the beach in Sorrento, but it was sketchy...lots of trash on the beach. Nevertheless, taking the advice of the blue-eyed bartender in Rome, I made the most of it and put on my bikini and went to the beach. There I saw many interesting things…first, a chubby Frenchman in speedos, a young couple in their late teens making out as if they were posing for the cover of a romance novel and 3 teens boys who thought it was funny to swim in the sea and then take their swim shorts off in the water. Oh…there was a very good-looking Italian lounging a few feet away from me. I really paid no attention to him…after much staring, he walked over and asked if I would watch his bag while he went to get something to drink. “Certo” (sure) I said. When he returned he brought me a Coca Cola and a straw and said “for you madam.” That was nice. After my refreshing Coke on the beach, I headed back to the hotel.

Then the group headed to dinner…it was so-so. We had two very cute and funny waiters who made it more interesting (I have video). I sat at a table and got to know the newlyweds from Singapore and the newlyweds from Maryland. Both couples were in their mid twenties. After two glasses of wine and also listening to the “high school sweetheart” love stories, I proceeded to tell them that I married my high school sweetheart and then got divorced by the time I was 25…oops….

Moving on…next day we are headed to the island of Capri…this means a short boat ride. Capri is a cool island, but lots of tourists. During this trip, I got to know Chrisse from Phoenix…very cool lady who is a pilot, and Mark from Hollywood. I coincidentally also had lunch with two others, one who happened to be an MD (just finished med school), an acupuncturist (just started her internship) and Mark the pharmaceutical salesman…we had an interesting conversation.

In Capri, we met a famous shoemaker also…that was neat and I have a great photo and video of him conversing with a pissed off nun. On the boat ride back to Sorrento, everyone is exhausted and I take photos of all of the couples sleeping on each other’s shoulders…ahhhhhh.

Contiki: Firenze: Meatloaf under the Tuscan Sun

The group is moving on now from Sorrento to Florence (4 hours) and I am truly amazed by our bus driver’s bad-ass driving (that truly is the only way to describe it!) How he gets around the hairpin curves in a gigantic bus and squeezes through the streets…God only knows.

Along the way, I get to know George (I call him “George with a G” and in return he calls me “Melissa with an M”). So anyway…quite an interesting character…he milks cows for a living in Australia and hadn’t had a vacation in 12 years. He’s relieved to be around people and not cows at this point.

We arrive in Florence and my last memory of Florence was the gypsy hamburglar at the train station. Well, the group saw everything one is supposed to see in Florence, the one major monument being “the David”. It/he is beautiful, magnificent…unfortunately photos just don’t show the awe. Florence is by far (besides Siena) my favorite city in Italy. One night in Florence we have a disastrous dinner; they actually served us a dry little chicken breast (I think that’s what it was) sprinkled with cold French fries. I took a picture of it and then set it aside.

While in Florence we also drove to the Chianti region to have a (terrible) Tuscan dinner…but this dinner came with the most hilarious entertainment. So…there was a musician in the restaurant…he looked like the singer Meatloaf, but his name was Michelangelo (I swear I’m not making this shit up). Anyway, Marco our tour guide told us that Michelangelo played different songs depending on his moods. Well, let me just say, he was the most odd being I have ever heard/seen. Folks…I have video; it includes, singing, drinking, sweating, head tossing…all at a piano and all by Meatloaf…I mean Michelangelo. Okay…ya…so that was a nice “Tuscan” dinner…

Contiki: Leaning Tower of Pisa: I wish the damn thing would just fall

Okay…so there’s a tower and it’s leaning a little bit…kinda cool, but I can’t believe how many people go to Pisa mainly to take “the photo” of one “holding” the building. Umm…ya…not going to do that, but I do notice that the policeman in Pisa are extremely good looking…in fact, all of us girls notice this. We decide it must be a requirement to be “extremely hot” to be a policeman in Pisa. So, instead of taking a photo of me holding up the damn leaning tower of Pisa, I take a photo with the policeman and the other gals in the group. And I took the funniest photos of random people who are posing for their own “leaning tower” photo…the photos of them trying to situate themselves just in the right position are hilarious. I don’t think you’ll find that on a post card.

Contiki: Verona: Juliet’s Breasts

Why does it seem that “boobs” keep coming up in my blogging…well, anyway…our next stop was the city of Verona, home of the famous love story of Romeo and Juliet. So we saw the famous balcony where Juliet called to Romeo (apparently). Well, it gave me a nice visual anyway. Tangent time: Where the hell is my Romeo anyway…I’ve called and called for him and to my utter dismay (pretty dramatic, huh?) he has not come for me. Okay…back to real life…anyway…like the leaning tower of Pisa photo, there is also a tradition to touch the boobs of Juliet’s statue just below the balcony and this is supposed to bring good love fortune. Um….ya…no…not going to do that either (although I could certainly use some help in this department), but if I touch Juliet’s boob, wouldn’t that make me a lesbian?…okay, no more mind chatter on Juliet’s boob…but I don’t think Romeo would like everyone touching Juliet’s boobs. Oh darn…I meant to get a photo of every boob touching fool…no photos of this – sorry!

Contiki: Milano: I did not shop!

Milan is cool and I was actually pretty happy that we showed up on a Sunday when everything was closed otherwise, it’s a shopping mad house. The highlights in Milan included seeing the amazing architecture of the Gothic church…wow…Cossette and I climbed to the top and took some amazing photos. We also caught the tail end of mass and that was pretty chilling and moving. We went to a museum where we saw the “Il Bacio” painting (the kiss)…it was wonderful and we also saw my other favorite “Morto Cristo”. I really liked hanging out with Cossette; she’s a good travel partner; between her Spanish and Italian language mix and my Italian, we did well in Milan. We also couldn’t resist stopping in the Ferrari store…wowsers…the body guards in there were extremely dark black men, wearing black suits, who were about 7 feet tall…no kidding. Luckily for my pocket book…I left Milano with no shopping bags….oh except I did by a Ferrari, which will be delivered to Santa Barbara upon my arrival back home next week.

Contiki: Venezia: Pigeon Poop & Gondolas

Venice is almost the end of our tour and all of us have become quite comfortable with one another. I had been to Venice with Julia and Nicole, but was looking forward to returning. The day in Venice would be a long one, and honestly what I was looking forward to most was watching one of the women in our group (Crystal from Canada) freak out in St. Mark’s Square. See…she has a phobia of pigeons…and St. Marks Square in Venice is the LAST place one should go if they are scared of birds because they are everywhere (visualize the movie “The Birds”). Ya…I know…this is not so nice of me, but I couldn’t help visualize how this scenario could play out. Of course I made it worse by saying, “Oh, you’re afraid of pigeons? Oh gosh…wait until you see St. Mark’s Square!” In this situation, I can hear my mom saying, “Melissa June…you are such a stinker!” When we arrived at St. Mark’s, I had my camera out and ready to roll some hilarious video, but…Crystal just clinched onto Marco’s (our tour guide) arm and walked through the Square covering her head (which we all were for fear of getting pooped on). Damn…I was hoping for some screaming, swatting of birds or even fainting, but nothing happened…and nobody got pooped on either…

Away from the pigeons, we took a gondola ride…I loved it and wished I could have lounged all day in the gondola by myself…it’s very relaxing drifting along the streets of Venice and listening to the sounds of busy bodies on the nearby bridges. Our gondolier refused to sing (mutha f@#cka…), but I did get video of another gondolier singing…I had singing gondola envy. Venice is also know for it’s Venetian lace and glass blowing, so the group visited a lace shop and glass blowing shop and both were fascinating. The process of creating the lace is amazing and so tedious; the presenter told us that the women who made the lace had to have a “love of concentration” and that many went blind after years of making things…can you imagine going blind from years of lacing table clothes or pillow cases? I bought some lace napkins for my mom that I think she will really love. The glass blowing demonstration was crazy awesome, but the glass, like the lace, is very expensive to purchase. Other highlights included meeting the most adorable, cutest guy in a wine shop…Cossette and I dreamed about him all day…he was married though…lucky wife. Then, there was a group of Italian soldiers, who were on duty, but felt it necessary to flirt with Cossette and I a bit…I got a little bit of it on video...it was funny and we didn’t know whether we should solute, waive or wink…we opted for a simple, sweet “Ciao.” One of my favorite things of the day was listening to a street musician just outside a church…he actually reminded me of a “Jimmy Buffet” type before Jimmy got famous. I have this on video too and also could have sat in the Venice sun, outside the church and listened to this beach-bum looking fellow sing old American songs with an Italian accent for a good while.

Contiki: Romantic Roma: Leave Your Umbrella at Home

Our trip was ending and we were just about to come full circle and drive back from Venice to Rome where we originally started. This bus ride was about 7 hours…it actually went by fast though because we watched “The Italian Job” (loved it!) and “Gladiator” on the bus. How touristy is that?…well I loved it because I hadn’t seen an American movie in English in three months…the only thing missing was a Diet Coke (not coca cola light!), popcorn, and hot tamales.

We arrived in Rome early evening and went to see the Pantheon, Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Steps. What made seeing the popular monuments better was the fact that it was getting dark and the lighting was so beautiful and then it started raining, which made it perfect for me. The fountain was my favorite…it is known as the most beautiful fountain in the world and it is indeed gorgeous and the sound of water is very soothing to my Cancer/water sign soul. So if you can imagine…it’s evening, but there is nice soft light from the moon and the dim streetlights…it’s raining, but not cold. I have no umbrella, but actually don’t care because in my three months in Italy I have been caught in the rain many times and never once had an umbrella. So I am getting soaked, but am just indulging in the view of the magnificent fountain…sounds a bit cheesy, but no joke…it was down right dreamy…then it was as if a movie director said “Cue the handsome Italian” because at that moment, there I stand drenched, but with a very mesmerized look on my face from being in la-la land and looking at the fountain, a handsome Italian walking by sees me and stops and offers me his umbrella. Dreamy…definitely…but I thought…okay, seriously, where are the hidden cameras and where is Diane Lane…oh and let me guess…this guy’s name is Marcello?” Nevertheless, it was a very nice moment…only to be interrupted by the call that I came to know well, “Contiki! Contiki! Andiamo (let’s go)!” Are you kidding me?! Marcello offers me an umbrella at the Trevi Fountain and you’re telling me it’s time to go? Even funnier…a few moments later as the group hustled down the street, still in the rain, I was annoyed by street vendors who were trying to SELL me an umbrella…I wanted to say, “Seriously…look at me…I am soaking, freaking wet and NOW you want to sell me an umbrella? Unless your name is Marcello, take the umbrella and shove it…” I seriously considered buying an umbrella just so I could hit them over the head with it. Instead I answered with a simple “No Grazie.”

Contiki: Last Day, Roma: Did I enjoy Rome? Does the Pope Pray?

“Contiki! Contiki! Andiamo!” It’s the last day and to this I want to say “Fuck off!”…but seriously, it has become quite funny to hear this “Contiki! Contiki”… for two weeks.
For the last day, we had a tour of the Colosseum and Ancient Rome ruins….hmmmm…what words can I use to describe these out-of-this-world monuments…and seeing my photos will not do it justice. Well, let me just say, that we were on our way to the Colosseum, just got off the extremely, extremely crowded train, then walking out of the train station, around a corner and then… Wow! There it is…right in the middle of Rome…the GRAND Colosseum….did I say wow? I just felt like …well…an ant or a pee on…there I stand, this little person with my neck tilted back, my eyes focused up and just in awe of the Colosseum….wooooowwwww. It’s unbelievable that such a thing was built so long ago; it was truly, truly amazing. And as we wandered through the cobble stone paths of the Roman Forum, it was really like going back in time.

I then had lunch and a beer with Chrisse (pilot from Phoenix), Mark (pharmaceutical sales from Hollywood, but moving back home to Albuquerque) and Steve (Chef from Australia). On the lunch menu, beer was offered as either: Picollo (small), Grande (big) or the last option was: Very Big Beer. Hilarious. Mark and Steve had a Very Big Beer and I have photos just to prove how very big they were. After lunch, Chrisse and I went to the Vatican City and Sistine Chapel to see the work of Michelangelo and Raffael…it goes without saying…amazing, gorgeous, unbelievable. Or as my brother would say “Holy painting Batman.” My favorite site though was going to St. Peter’s to see the La Pieta…this is the sculpture of Mary and Jesus that Michelangelo did when he was only 24. I love it; it gives me goosebumps and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it again. I actually wouldn’t mind camping out in front of the sculpture for a night only to wake up and see it again…do you think St. Peter would mind if I did that? (Chrisse thought it was funny because I referred to him as Mr. Peter.) She also thought it was funny because while we were at St. Peter’s, a very serious Priest walked by, not a smile, very unapproachable looking, with one eye brow up…and I said, “Now do you think I want to share my problems with him…I don’t think so.” We laughed. Neither of us are Catholic (perhaps that is obvious since I don’t know who St. Peter is and I really don’t know why there are so many shrines to him), but if we were, I think based on our questioning of St. Peter, we both may be in purgatory for awhile.

That night, the group had one last dinner together…and once again it was in a goofy restaurant with blue neon lights and an opera singer…and yes, the opera singer exercised his lungs at my table…and to that I thought “No, you didn’t just do that.” But…he did have a good voice…and it was funny as hell…and yes I got it on video. I also sat with the newly engaged couple Kelly and Matt, who are from Canada and are expecting their first child (she is 5 months pregnant and the cutest darn prego woman.) And also at the table was the other couple from Northridge – he is Phillipino and she is from Texas. The food was not what the Romans ate, but the company was divine.

The two-week Contiki tour was over and I was happy about the so-so hotels, the bad food, cheesy entertainment and good company. The next morning, everyone scattered to a taxi here or a bus there and I…well, I took a taxi to the Tibertina bus station and then headed back to Tuscany…where I could find peace and quiet. Rome was amazing, but Rome is also a dirty, crowded city. Looking back I can’t believe how fast the two-week tour went by and I stubbornly enjoyed being an American tourist for a short while. Now, back in Siena, I got situated in my apartment in the center, and am preparing for my transition back to Santa Barbara.

lunedì 7 maggio 2007

Playing Blog Catch-Up & Italia Julia & Nicole Style

It has been 3 weeks since I have blogged and I miss writing about my adventures so much! And…as you can imagine, SO much has happened in my Italy story… many new characters, journeys and funny adventures.

I just returned to Siena from a 2-week guided tour through Italy (none of the hotels had internet access!) and just before that, my loveable, huggable friends Julia and Nicole visited me for 2 weeks (I think they are probably still recovering!). So much to tell about! Now, I am staying in a small apartment in the center of Siena, walking distance to everything and this is where I will be for the remainder of my stay.

I have been so antsy to write about each little crazy, fun and sad happening and was so frustrated that I could not find time or internet to type a blog update, but today I realize that I am glad that I have had almost a month to process all that has happened. With that, I would like to start my catch up with my adventures with Julia and Nicole…

Julia and Nicole’s travel started much like mine – they flew from LA to London and then to Rome where they then got a bus to Siena and arrived on Easter Sunday. Well…instead of hunting for Easter eggs, I hunted for Julia and Nicole… here’s what happened, they got off the bus at the wrong stop in Siena. When they called me, it was sort of a “We got off at the wrong stop and we don’t know where we are…can you pick us up?” One of the funniest things is that Julia looked for signs to let me know where they were – “I think we are at a train station called ‘Fermata’.” ”Fermata” means “stop” in Italian…so basically the signs just referred to a stop. Oh boy… here’s me, in a Tobacco shop, trying to ask…in Italian…where the Fermata Train Station was…Italians were looking at me like I had just fallen off the train. Poor Julia and Nicole…after all of their travels just to get to Siena…they were tired and stressed and the trip had just begun. I knew from experience exactly what they were feeling. Needless to say, we found each other and then we headed to my cute little apartment in the village of Tocchi to rest for the evening. I was SO happy to see them…I realized the moment I saw them, how homesick I was.

The plan was to head to Northern Italy via train to visit Julia and Nicole’s Italian family for 4 days and then come back to Tuscany to venture to the surrounding villages.
Confused about a “simple” task like getting train tickets…well, at one point I just blurted out “Standard!” to the person behind the glass window. I was so weary and tired of trying to find the Italian words and finally just wanted to say “Just give me a fucking standard ticket!” because I remembered my Italian teacher in Santa Barbara saying “just ask for Standard.” When trying to purchase train tickets online, we went to an internet café which is managed by a man from Bangladesh; I have gotten to know him since I use the phones and internet often and indeed he is a bit…well…strange (he asked me if I had a husband the first day I met him right after I asked if I could use the computer)…but I think harmless. However, when we were looking for tickets online, he was flirting with Nicole and trying to teach her Italian (I wish you could have heard this hilarious-beyond-words interaction!). It was SO funny; we left and Nicole, very upset and tired said, “I did not come to Italy to learn Italian from a Bangladesh man!” I couldn’t argue with that one!

After troubles and frustrations with getting our train tickets, we were then headed to Levico, a small town near Trento in Northern Italy, to visit Julia and Nicole’s Italian family. Before leaving on the train though, we needed to find parking for Blu…well, we were running late for the bus, so at a stop light headed to the bus station, I literally peeled out…aka burned rubber (both of these expressions I had to explain to my Italian friends when relaying this story to them and that took a bloody hour)….anyway…this burning rubber, to get to the bus station in time caused me to have my second laughing attack in the car (I get these in HIGH times of stress and it’s uncontrollable laughter for about 10 minutes). We found illegal parking for Blu, but it would have to do for us to make the train. So…once on the train, there we are sitting in our seats…all of us a bit dazed and crazed and I all of a sudden feel a cry coming on…tears flowing, I weeped “I shouldn’t be going to Northern Italy.” It was pathetic and hilarious. After getting that out of my system, we headed North and were on the train for 5 hours with a short train change in Florence, just time enough to spend 70 cents to take a whiz in the public restroom.

Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Due: Family, Translations for Sex & Venice

Julia and Nicole’s family own a charming hotel called Hotel Al Sorriso. It is steps away from a gorgeous lake and the surrounding mountains still had snow on them. The landscape was quite different from what I had seen in Tuscany; it was very beautiful. We stayed in the hotel during our visit, which was a funny phenomenon in and of itself because it was like the “Shining” (like the movie) a bit because the hotel was not open yet, so we were the only guests there! This had just a tad of a “Shining” effect, but otherwise, it was so delightful having the hotel all to ourselves and the hospitality was … well…very Italian! We ate dinner every night with the family – aunts, uncles and cousins, each had such a great character. The family members, each so animated, include:
*Nicola & Gianluca - the twins ... here's my non-family perspective...they are adorable and Lordy I wish they were 10 years older!
*Franca & Franco - twins parents.
*Chiara, Marta, and Marco - the three kids of Alberto and Roberta. Chiara speaks English and is a beautiful girl and stands out as she is tall with dreadlocks...something I did not see a lot of in Italy.
*Alberto - He is the dad of the three kids and he LOVES America and looks and acts like an American -- he sings American songs at the dinner table and likes to tease Nicole and Julia!
*Roberta - Alberto's wife - Very nice and was the first one to see us as she picked us up at the train station after a miscommunication on our arrival time!
*Donatella -- gave us a tour of her amazing home and was always there in the morning to greet us.
*Silvano - the quiet, amazing chef!
*Federico - cousin, which we saw only once, but seemed a little shy
*Alessandro - the guy who graduated from Architect school in Venice and was hazed by his friends (a common tradition apparently) after the graduation.
*Adelia - Julia and Nicole's great aunt - the "boss". A little intimidating, but I like a strong woman!
*Letizia - lovely, lovely Letizia whom we had pre-dinner treats with just about every night
*Marco - An uncle we visited in the nursing home; he's very bright-eyed.
So...only a couple of the younger cousins – Chiara 16 and Nicola 20-something, spoke English. I had fun for the next four days practicing my “Dick and Jane” Italian!

Prepared by Silvano, one of the uncles and the food was delicious and every day was memorable… meeting different family members and traveling around the town. I felt so honored actually to be a part of this family for a few days. Every evening before dinner, we went to Aunt Letizia’s home for wine and cookies; we sat on the deck, enjoyed the view and enjoyed a little bit of conversation…mixed with a bit of hand gestures to understand one another. Most of the time just nodding and say “Si, si,…si.”

One day in particular makes me chuckle just thinking of it. We enjoyed a pool and spa day at the hotel; after taking a swim we lounged in the spa and enjoyed giggling like junior high girls about the translations in my Italian book for starting a relationship – … one Italian phrase -- Toccami qui, which means “Touch me here”… had such a funny sound to it and when Nicole and I said it out loud, well we just could not stop laughing. We were being a bit disruptive in this place that was supposed to be serene. One “Italian stud” in his speedos was not thrilled about our laughing and consequently flashed me a few minutes later when I was sitting in the sauna. I also met a nice fella named Walter in the sauna; Walter builds gondolas for a living, but after he “adjusted” himself, I decided to head to the steam room. Meanwhile, Julia is behaving herself reading my Oprah magazine and Nicole is sleeping in the “nap” room (there are single water beds and there are little star lights on the ceiling) just a few beds down from Mr. Speedo, “look at me” Italian man.
The following day the whole family, plus a handful of family friends, took a small shuttle (then a boat, to another boat) to Venice to attend a cousin’s graduation from architect school. Venice is about 3 hours from Levico and it was my first time in Venice. I loved the fact that we were going to this graduation in Venice… it was an inside look at something beyond the normal touristy activities in Venice. Watching the family interact and laugh with one another, again, I felt privileged to be among the group. Julia, Nicole and I enjoyed the time spent in Venice and even got a glimpse of a few very “ooh-la-la” Italian men with their expensive sunglasses and tight jeans. At moments we were like kids in a toy store, “Oh, look at that one…no, look at that one over there…wow, look at THAT one.”

Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Tre: Hamburglar in Florence & 70 Cents to take a Whiz

We had been in Levico for four days and it was time to head back to Tuscany. Our departure though was sad and left all of us a bit tearful when saying good-bye to Letizia. Northern Italy is beautiful; it’s not the typical picture of Italy that most Americans imagine and this is refreshing to me. Going to Venice to see Alessandro graduate, visiting their uncle Marco in the nursing home, going to the cemetery and paying respects to family and visiting the families old neighborhood – these were all things that allowed me to really experience more of the real Italy. What I liked most about the trip was the unique opportunity to spend time with Julia and Nicole in this way and in this place. I loved living the Italian life with their family for a few short days; I could have sat at the dinner table all night just to observe and listen to everyone.

We are on the train back to Tuscany and in the past four days of our trip I can tell you that we laughed so much…and we would continue to do so for the duration of their trip. Just when we thought we were “home free” to Tuscany without any hitches, we stopped in Florence to switch from train to bus. First, we spent 70 cents again tinkle in the public restrooms (but not before we bitched about the fact that we had to pay to do this.) Let’s just say because of the change in our diets, all of us were having digestive problems, mainly Julia and Nicole as they were not acclimated to the Italian diet yet (food groups: pasta, gelato, wine). We had time to spare for a quick lunch before we caught the bus to Siena. The only place to eat at the train station was a McDonalds and although we all hesitated at the dreadful thought of eating McDonalds food while we were in Italy, we agreed it was okay and maybe even a good idea to get the “pipes” moving. Although, when I verbalized this possible constipation solution, Nicole replied, “I refuse to pay another 70 cents to go to the bathroom again.” I about died laughing.

And honestly, I had a hankering for anything besides Italian food and a burger and fries sounded like grease made in heaven. Julia and Nicole ordered chicken sandwiches with fries and I got a burger with fries and a Coke Light. The train station was crowded and we ended up sitting on the ground, just outside the doors into the main station. I guess subconsciously I thought our day had been too easy…not enough drama apparently, because as we sat there, just starting to eat our lunch a gypsy woman started walking toward us. She was carrying a baby in a wrap around her shoulders and she was also about 5 months pregnant. Not too concerned about the situation and perhaps a bit curious as to what she would do, I only clinched my purse and told Julia and Nicole to do the same. The gypsy woman scooted closer and closer (she’s standing and we are all sitting on the ground) and then she asked for food or money. I said no and shook my head…she continued to get closer and within milliseconds she snatched my hamburger…my greasy, American, pipe-moving, antipasta hamburger. Quite shocked, but amused we all just sat there – was this God telling me “That will teach you to order McDonalds in Florence Italy?” Then…instead of running away, the gypsy hamburglar ate MY lunch in front of me. Uh…excuse me? During this whole time I’m thinking “Should I get up and chase her for my hamburger?” I actually visualized myself doing this – chasing after a pregnant gypsy carrying a child in one hand and a hamburger in the other hand…well, I just didn’t think it was worth the few euros I paid. She was very, very proud of herself for such a quick snatch as she continued to stay and eat in front of me; I was pissed…then laughing…then in disbelief. Well … then me and the gypsy hamburglar decided to banter back and forth. Holding up the hamburger as though she were soluting Ronald McDonald himself, she said with a hiss, “Grazzzzzzie” (translation: thank you stupid American woman for the hamburger). I replied with a sarcastic “Prego…niente” (translation: you’re welcome, it was nothing, is there anything else I can get for you, would you like a pie with that?). Oh ya…somewhere in all of this Nicole called her a bitch (yes, Nicole Dubiel) and I think at this point Julia is still eating her fries and observing the Italian drama that is playing out before her very eyes. Finally, the gypsy leaves us in peace…probably going to tell her fellow hamburglars her side of the story. I took a bite of Julia’s sandwich and then a bite of Nicole’s and then we hopped on the bus to Siena. We laughed all the way to Siena about the Gypsy Hamburglar.

Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Quattro: Italian Driving Rules, Getting Stoned & Analyzing our Boobs

We arrive in Siena to find Blue without a ticket…we thought for sure we would be towed or have a ticket because of our illegal parking during the four days we were in Northern Italy. However, my friend Mauro did us a huge favor…he wrote an Italian note that said “Sorry, but my car is broke down and I will be able to move it soon.” He left this note on the windshield and voila!…it worked! I thought this strategy was obsurd honestly and would never work, but…I think Mauro knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, get my drift?

The plan now was to relax, and visit Perugia (famous for the chocolate), Assisi (St. Frances), Lucca, Montalcino (famous for great wine) and Cinque Terre (5 villages along the coast). All of these places we would be driving to and experiencing once again the Italian way of driving (Rule #1: drive very, very, fast. Rule #2: don’t use turn signals. Rule #3: don’t take it personal if you get honked at. Rule #4: Stay out of the way. Rule #5: Always have cash for the tolls. Rule #6: Understand Italian road signs AND hand gestures. Rule #6: Learn to sing to Italian music… etc, etc, etc.)

We visited Perugia and Assisi on the same day; they are within 30 minutes of one another and are about 2 hours from Siena. First to Assisi, we visit St. Frances church and walked around the town for a bit. The most exciting thing that happened in Assisi was when we were in a gift shop in the church and were surrounded by Japanese tourists…pushy, aggressive Japanese tourists. Well…I was losing my temper quickly…about as quickly as the Japanese women were invading my personal space. About this time, Nicole also had had enough and shoved a Japanese lady who had just pushed Julia. We were all hissing by the time we decided to make way to the exit.

Then we headed to Perugia, which is not the quaint, small chocolate village we all imagined. Rather it is a big town, with not much going on and there were no cute little chocolate shops around each corner (I think we imagined this picture of Perugia from watching the movie “Chocolate”, but that wasn’t even based in Italy, but somewhere in France.) Anyway, we still indulged in a gelato, some shopping and we did find some great “Chocolate with Cannibus” in a little café. After taking a few hits…or bites rather of the chocolate, we headed home. So…no Johnny Depp and not even a slight buzz from the chocolate…still we were content and enjoyed the day.

The next day we were scheduled for a spa day at Bagni di Lucca. We were all looking forward to this because all of my other spa visits had been divine (Linari, Chianciano, Petriolo, Positano, Saturnia). Lucca is about 4 hours from Siena and we planned to drive there and spend a day in the thermal baths. Let’s just say, this was a day from hell and was anything but relaxing. To make a very looooong story short (and so that I don’t get post traumatic stress from reliving the story), I’ll just tell you that the scenery was gorgeous, but we were in the car so long and had gotten lost because of the confusing signs. By the time we arrived, we were so disappointed by the spa because the pools were closed, I was too tired to speak even a little Italian and the only thing we did at the spa after being in the car for 3+ hours was sit naked in the steam room (we used this time to criticize our boobs – I was pissed because mine had shrank and Julia and Nicole were not happy with their cup size either.) So if you can imagine, we are in the middle of fucking nowhere, sweating in a sauna, and self-criticizing our boobs…oh God we were desperate for something. After deciding we couldn’t take another moment of the heat, we walked out and then were instructed to nap for 10 minutes in the relaxation room. Okay…. We all just lay there starring at the ceiling, thinking, “Just get me the hell out of here.” That was Lucca. Of course, by the time we were on the road again, we found the whole thing hysterical, laughed our asses off again and then searched desperately for JT on the radio (in the midst of all of the Italian music, once in awhile they will throw in Justin Timberlake or Gwen Stefani.)

Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Cinque: Frolicking in a Meadow & Conquering Fears

After the less-than-relaxing day in Lucca, we decided that the following day would be our day to Montalcino. This was a good plan because it was near by (about an hour from Siena), and is a small and relaxing Tuscany village. Before we drove to Montalcino though, we headed to Siena to shop at the market. Wednesday mornings are market day in Siena and it’s basically like a big flea market with leather, shoes, clothes … everything you can imagine. Despite the hoards of people, I think we all really enjoyed the market. With new leather bags in tow, we headed to Montalcino. After visiting a couple of wine shops, we simply took a short walk around the town and went to a restaurant where we sat outside, had a little too much wine and ate more chocolate, flirted only slightly with the waiter and then went on our merry way.

On the way home, we took a slight detour…took a turn down a dirt road and stopped where there was a fork in the road with about 6 signs pointing different directions. Our goal: simply to frolic in a green Tuscany meadow just like in the movies….but…once I pulled the car over looked at the lush green field I thought, “What about ticks…snakes…?” We imagined the headlines: “American women die after being bitten by a snake while they were frolicking (and trespassing) in a Tuscany meadow.” After having a short discussion about “what lurks in the fields of Tuscany”…Julia and I still decided to play silly in the field while Nicole took photos ... and yes ... we laughed for a long time about that too. As you can imagine, by this time in their trip, we are all very comfortable with one another and are having a hell of a time in more ways than one.

The following day we were to head North to the famous Cinque Terre. We were all looking forward to this, but…I was also anxious about it because of the drive and parking…and other details surrounding this trip. Here’s the first hiccup when going to Cinque Terre…you can not really drive directly to Cinque Terre; you need to go to La Spezia, the near by town, find parking and then take a train to Cinque Terre. We would have taken the train all the way from Siena, but weren’t sure how long we wanted to stay etc. There are too many details to tell you up to the point of us getting to Cinque Terre, so I will just say, after speaking with a few people in choppy Italian, we found parking, got on a train and made it to Cinque Terre.

The 5 villages that make up this area are amazing and beautiful along the coast. Cinque Terre is known for hiking and one could spend a whole day starting at the top village and hiking all the way down (or up) and stopping at each village along the way. We visited only two villages and started at the top – Monterosso. We walked around the adorable little village for a bit, enjoyed the sea view and then started our hike….and this is where it gets interesting…

So the hiking trail is pretty long, but very doable. The path is quite narrow in many spots and is very high with steep drops…basically not a good scenario for someone who is afraid of heights…that would be Ms. Julia. Here’s the challenge…we did not realize the trail had “tight” spots until we were already too far to turn back. I’m thinking, “It’s do or die”, but of course wouldn’t use the word “die” out loud in this current situation. So there we stand in the middle of the trail debating about what to do. I knew Julia could do it and Nicole and I were carefully encouraging her to trek on…and that is exactly what we did…slowly and carefully…Julia overcame her slight fear and hesitation and hiked Monterosso to the next village. It was great! The views were spectacular – sea, beach, men, and vineyards on the cliffs.

Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Sei: When in Doubt, Push in the Clutch & You Will Never Stall

It was hard to believe that it had already been almost 2 weeks. Although the time flew by, it seemed like Julia and Nicole had been in Tuscany for months. This was serious bonding time that’s for sure. Like the rest of my adventures in Italy, my most precious memories with Julia and Nicole are not about what city or monument we visited, but rather what we experienced together.

My favorite memories with Julia and Nicole, the memories that make me smile and laugh when I replay them in my mind, are the every day, simple encounters we shared. Every night, after returning from our day trips, we drove back to Tocchi and made a delicious Italian dinner together. And I think every night we surprised ourselves by what we were able to make – every night we had wine, bread and cheese. One night we had pesto pasta, another night pasta with wild boar…always having pasta and we ate fresh salads with olive oil. And we had the BEST conversations…many of which are sworn to secrecy… at the dinner table. These conversations made us laugh, ponder…one night Julia and I actually got pretty tipsy and just laughed and laughed.

In the morning we always made strong, hot espresso in the little Italian pot and dipped our favorite Italian breakfast cookies in each cup…they are so delicious! Then we would walk outside to Blu, but always be greeted by Mose the clumsy, adorable dog.

A few little, but lovely memories I think about…one morning we were on our way and just driving out of Tocchi. We drove slowly by a house in the village where an old, old woman was standing by her gate; she had no expression on her face and just stood there waiting for us to pass. We took a chance and waived and smiled to her and all of a sudden her face lit up…I mean lit up…and her eyes smiled so sweetly back to us and her toothless mouth smiled back and she waived as we passed. We loved this moment.

Another funny memory… we were also leaving the house, driving down the dirt road and passed by a chicken coop…well, Julia noticed a very odd looking chicken…one like she had never seen before. Her reaction was a sudden, but perplexed “Wow, that is one freaky lookin’ chicken!” So now…that is our phrase whenever we want to describe something that is odd or strange, we say “That is one freaky lookin’ chicken.” I think we will copyright it.

Oh…and teaching Ms. Hulia how to drive a stick shift! If only, if only, you could have been there for these teaching moments!!! Imagine this…here we are in Blu, in the countryside of Tuscany (thank God there is no traffic) and I am first showing and explaining the whole clutch, brake, gas concept. There were times that Nicole, sitting in the back seat, was afraid for her life I’m pretty sure of it. After a handful of stalls, grinding gears and almost backing into a stone wall, Julia was handling the stick pretty well. We practiced only in Tocchi, where there were no cars or people really and with the bit of advice being “When in doubt, push in the clutch and then you will never stall”, Julia conquered the stick. I think Julia needs to master the stick. I think now, all three of us sort of live by this philosophy… push in the clutch…we won’t stall, but…as we figured out, stalling, getting lost and hitting bumps in the road is a hell of a lot more fun.

Italia Julia & Nicole Style: Part Sette: All Roads Lead to Rome

It was about that time for Julia and Nicole to head back to convenient, simple, real life Santa Barbara. As they contemplated about how and when to get back to Rome (spending the night in the airport, taxi to airport, bus or train, etc, etc.???) I sensed their anxiety and understood it well. Together, we decided that the best plan would be for me to drive them to Rome. Their flight was early morning and Rome is 3 hours from Siena, so we left at 1:00 am and away we went. But of course…we had to have one more little adventure…so the good thing is that there was no traffic because it was 1:00 am. I was advised by my friends Mauro and Sabrina to take an alternative route that would bypass the freeway and take me directly to the airport. All was dandy, but that one single moment that I chose to look down, I missed the sign for an exit…well, no worries, it deterred us for about 15 minutes, but it was still a little frustrating…if you can believe this, we actually ended up at the naval port. When we drove into a gate, which looked like a toll, a man was standing there. We saw ships…hmmmm….that’s funny…shouldn’t we be seeing planes? I asked, “How do I get to the airport.”…Lost in translation, the man thought I said, “Is this the airport?” Silly man laughed at us…then we drove around a bit…found our way back to the correct highway and off we were to the airport.

Almost there and arriving quite early I must say (3 hours before the flight), we finally get to the toll that we were expecting. Well, tolls make me nervous…they are a source of anxiety to me (I don’t know why)…so it really freaked me out (and it didn’t help that I am exhausted at this point) when after passing through the toll, we were signaled by a policeman on foot to pull over. Panic set in, “Shit…what’s wrong…what did I do…was I speeding…are there drugs in the car…have I gone past the 3 months stay in Italy…will we all go to jail before Julia and Nicole can catch their flight?” Well, this is the mind chatter of someone who is tired and has anxiety! Well, there was no problem other than my brights were on…the cop was clearly more interested in the passengers if you know what I mean and the whole time he is talking I am thinking “Is this guy for real…is this cop actually trying to make conversation with us?” Finally he waived us on. Well, we get to the airport and as we are getting the bags out, the same cop car drives by and now he is with another cop and they stop…asking more questions…unnecessary questions….I was perplexed and felt like I had to answer the questions, but my gut knew this joker was bored at 4 am and wanted to get his flirt on. Finally he left us be again…only after he found out who we all were and where we lived.

I said good-bye to Julia and Nicole … and I was sad, but so happy about our newly defined, expanded friendship. I drove back to Tocchi and was happy to catch the sunrise on the way home.